Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Help. Why am I so naked?
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