It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
