This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
