remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
