The maid of honor just puked.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
