btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
