we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
