I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
