why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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