I must be too annoying 4 u.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
