Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
