u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
