Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize