I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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