he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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