The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
