I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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