That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb