God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
