He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
