I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
false alarm. still invincible.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
