so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
