im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just gift wrapped bread.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
