How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
