So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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