there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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