I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
