Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.