At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
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his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
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Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.