Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
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Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
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Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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