She said her name was "party"
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
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whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
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took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.