If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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