i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Be still, my beating vagina.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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