so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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