put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
