I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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