if you like me you must not know who I am
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
