the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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