I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
where are my eyebrows?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
