you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
