If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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