I want to walk on stilts...naked
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
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