I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
