i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
