To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
