this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
so much tequila, so little girl.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
