she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
either way he was missing a nipple.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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