Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
only if we run a train.
done.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
