i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
