On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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