Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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