Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
