Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Dicks are not precious.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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