the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
