either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
