just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
