Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I can't turn off my feet"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
