u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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