Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
