I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
