Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
