Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
