Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
