is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
