He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize