He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
